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May 5th Humor

A mob family in Brooklyn wanted to refurbish the house of the family Godmother, referred to as “D’Ma” (Brooklyn-ese for “The Mother”). Son Ant’ny was a carpenter, son Joey was a plumber, and daughter Stace was a decorator, so they put their heads together and planned the whole affair. D’Ma was thrilled that she would be getting rid of the dark velvet wallpaper, flocked furniture, dilapidated mattress and bed and everything else in favor of a newly renovated home. The only thing she asked the family is that they leave her absolute favorite thing about the house, the antique porcelain sink that traveled from Sicily many years before to remain in the family.

After several long months, the project was complete. There was a big party to celebrate the new home, and all the local mobsters came out to wish D’Ma their best. At one point, Ant’ny, Joey and Stace were in the kitchen with some of the mob wives discussing the work they had all done.

“Yo, I picked out all da colors and da fabrics and da daycore,” said Stace.

“Oh yeah?” said Ant’ny. “Well, I did all da cabinets and da staircase, and da molding, yo!”

“Yo, I did all da plumbing!” Joey had to get in… “I did da battroom and da tub and da beeday and all da stuff in dis kitchen, too.”

“Yeah, but dis,” Ant’ny said pointing behind Joey, “you know what dis is?” The mob wives shook their heads and shrugged. “Da Sink o' D’Ma, yo!”


(Written by Robert A. Geise)

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